Artemis Fowl and the Evil Pink Bunnies
by Holly's Home Girl
Summary: Holly has a case that she must find the Evil Pink Bunny of Wonder. Artemis finds it first though, see what happens! Really random, so if you like that stuff, Then you'll find it very funny!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, I'm Holly's Home Girl here and this is yet another one of my stupid stories that doesn't make any sense. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT: )**

**Disclaimer-I don't own any character in Artemis Fowl, and if i did, I would be a rich little girl! Oh but i do own the evil bunnies!**

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Artemis Fowl and the Evil Pink bunnies

Artemis was walking down the street wearing a beekeepers uniform, and looking extremely displeased

"Butler, I knew I shouldn't have let you watch that special on **killer bees** last night. I even told you not to watch it, but you said that you wanted to make sure I was watching appropriate television shows. Really Butler, I am old enough to choose what I watch. Besides, I think it scared you more than it did me."

"Artemis, I am truly sorry, but those bees will kill you. Then no one will pay my paycheck…err, I mean, I would be so sad."

Artemis shot Butler an angry glare and continued walking. Meanwhile, below ground, Holly had a new case she was working on and Mulch was helping….well sort of….

"Holly! Look a fingerprint on the paper!" cried Mulch excitedly.

Holly glanced upward.

"Mulch, that's_ your_ fingerprint after eating so much greasy foods and touching the paperwork." said Holly in an annoyed voice.

"I was just trying to help…"

"STOP HELPING!"

Mulch started to cry.

"What is wrong with you!"

Mulch cried louder.

"Argh! I am going to go aboveground for clues to solve the case! Make sure the building doesn't fall while I'm gone."

"Yes ma'am!" said Mulch as he began glaring at the wall with such frustration that Holly almost exploded trying to stop herself from laughing.

"Bye Mulch! Pfft…"she said trying to hold back the laughter. Holly rode a shuttle up E1 to Tara and thought, Hey I think I'll visit Artemis! Meanwhile Artemis was in a supermarket, because he wanted to see if grapefruit could cause a nuclear reaction.

"Hmm…" Artemis said as he poked the grapefruit with a thick leather beekeeping glove. He looked up to see an evil bunny staring at him. He was pink with giant angry eyes that glowed red.

"A rabbit that has pledged its allegiance to darkness? I shall harness its energy combined with that of the grapefruit to annihilate all living creatures in this world!"

Then Holly came into the super market looking mad. She flew all the way to Artemis's house and he wasn't even home. She was wearing a big trench coat that looked ridiculous on her. She was looking for the evil pink bunny of wonder. Then she saw Artemis throwing grapefruit at it and freaked out. Clients don't pay for their stuff after it's wrecked.

"Artemis! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"Combining the power of grapefruit with evil pink rabbits! Ha Ha! I have you now, rabbit!"

"Why grapefruit?"

"I like grapefruit!" he continued too pelt the bunny with grapefruits.

"Err…Artemis….are you feeling all right? What are you wearing?"

"A bee…keeper's…uni…form." said Artemis realizing where he was and what he was doing. He looked at the almost dead evil pink bunny and was shocked to see it was holding a giant bazooka cannon at his face.

"Die stupid!" the bunny said pulling the trigger. The bunny pulled the trigger but the grapefruits broke the cannon and it was now useless except to throw at people. So the bunny did just that.

"DAMN YOU ALL!" The bunny said running away. Holly caught him in a lunchbox that fell from the sky unto the bunnies head. (This doesn't necessarily mean she caught him)

"How did you do that?" asked an amazed Artemis.

"Uhh…do what? That lunchbox isn't mine."

"Oh. Well then, what brings you above ground?"

"This. The evil pink bunny of wonder." Said Holly holding up the lunchbox that wiggled and tried to slam into Holly's head.

"The rose colored rabbit of pondering?"

"That sounds…really wrong…"

Artemis and Holly walked to the register to find Butler and the clerk making out.

"BUTLER!" cried Artemis clearly shaken from what he was seeing. Butler pushed away from the clerk.

"Oh sorry Artemis. I was just helping her because she…err…passed out….and I was giving her CPR! That's right!"

Artemis gave Butler an I-am-not-stupid-look and told him to leave. Butler pouted and left the store with Artemis and Holly trailing closely behind, lecturing him. That's boring so I will skip that part. Basically they said he was an adult and he should be more responsible and that they were very disappointed in him.

Then they got to Fowl Manor and Butler made tea as an apology but Artemis and Holly were still giving him the silent treatment.

"So Holly what is this rabbit?"

"It's evil."

"Is there anything else to it?"

"No, the author is just a psycho."

"Ah."

"So what's new?"

"Well since my grapefruit ideas are smashed. I will have to think of something new…"

"I don't even want to know about the grapefruit thing…"

"Hmm…maybe a banana will trigger a tidal wave the size of Mt. Everest!"

"Artemis, are you hungry?"

"Yes, actually, however did you guess?"

"Lucky guess."

"Well I will get Juliet to bring out lunch."

Butler ran into the room.

"LET ME DO IT!"

"FINE! JUST GET OFF ME!"

"YIPPEE!"

Butler ran into the kitchen and made banana grapefruit soufflé.

"OH JOY!" screamed Artemis.

"Ewww." Said Holly.

Artemis ate his so fast Holly couldn't see his hands move, yet he didn't get a single glob on him. He motioned for Holly to try some.

"Err…I already ate…oh I am going to be late getting back."

Holly ran back to E1 to avoid an argument with Butler. Then she took a shuttle to Haven and a pod back to her office building, or where it once was.

"MULCH!"

Mulch sat on top of the large pile of rubble with a big smile on his face.

"Oopsie!"

"MULCH!"

"Eeek! Holly's scary! Somebody HELP ME!"

Then Holly killed Mulch Diggums and hid him under the rubble so it would look like an accident. Meanwhile Artemis was wondering what to do with himself when Holly forgot the bunny. Artemis smiled wickedly.

Time to have some fun.

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**Well that was chapter one. Yeah, It's not supposed to make sense, I hope you liked it anyway though. Read and Review PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, its me again. well i was a little cranky last time...well at 3am, I reserve the right to be cranky...Hey anyway review alright! Hope you like it. Although nothing is happening yet...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Artemis Fowl and if i did i would live in Ireland and have a big fancy manor, just like Arty, except with a pool. but i do own the Bunny.**

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Artemis looked over the blueprints once again. They were perfect. Absolutely perfect. Oh and genius, let's not forget genius. Artemis walked over to where the pink bunny was imprisoned.

"So, evil rabbit, where did you come from?"

"GO TO HELL!" shouted the evil pink bunny that can talk.

"Who do you work for?"

"DAMN YOU!"

"Well excuse me but is all you can say obscenities!"

"D'ARVIT!"

"Oh, now the rabbit speaks gnomic. Great."

At that moment, Butler walked in carrying an immense amount of tacos. Artemis knew Butler was addicted to Taco Bell and tried to steer clear of Butler, but his efforts were in vain as Butler saw him.

"Arty! Come eat tacos with me! o"

"Err…I already ate and…"

"ARTEMIS FOWL EAT YOUR TACOS THIS INSTANT!"

Artemis despised tacos because of their greasiness and disgustingness, although disgustingness is not a word, he hated tacos. He also hated it when Butler had tacos. Butler went nuts when he ate tacos, it was like an addiction.

"EAT! NOW! TACOS!"

"No Butler. I will not partake in your digestion of tacos. They are greasy and disgusting."

"BRAIN HURT! NEED TACOS!"

Butler hurled himself into a giant pile of tacos. Tacos, thought Artemis, _why tacos?_

Ding Dong, sounded the doorbell.

Artemis rushed over, eager to get away from Butler. He walked over to the door, and opened it slowly; he tried to remember a time where he had opened the door himself but it seemed Butler had always. He opened it and there stood Holly.

"I…err…forgot the bun-"

Slam! Artemis ran off into the house to hide the bunny.

"Argh!" shouted Holly. She had called the LEP to investigate the destruction of her building (although she knew, but pretended not to know, for insurance purposes) had to sit through Foaly's taunting (he came just to bother her) and then Foaly had the nerve to try and bring that stupid dwarf back to life. Now Artemis was trying to steal the stupid evil bunny. No way in hell.

Artemis heard the explosion from the parlor on the second floor. Holly stood in the exploded doorway looking like she was ready to kill the next unfortunate being to pass by. Alas, that being was Butler.

"Holly! Have some ta-"

"GARRAGH!"

Holly grabbed the tacos and threw them on the ground stomping on them, then turned on Butler who stood in shock and flipped him out the door and into a nearby field.(if there is one nearby, if not then 'a faraway field)

"Oh crap." Said Artemis under his breath.

"ARTEMIS FOWL, GET YOUR DAMN ASS DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Artemis ran. All the way back to where the bunny and the blueprints were. Surely with his superior intelect Holly would stand no chance. Artemis glanced around the room, his eyes fell on a small pink object.

Perfect.

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**Yes it is very short. pardon the pun.**

**Holly: I AM ANGRY AS IT IS DON'T PUSH IT!**

**Ah...well then...review or i won't write the next chapter! **


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